The next guy I date:

Will not be:

• an artist
• a vegetarian
• a Republican
• bisexual
• bipolar
• an atheist or agnostic
• a pot smoker (I'm trying to give it up)

He also will not have a goatee (facial hair desensitizes my clit during oral sex) or a pot belly (it's so disgusting to have one slapping against you).

I actually would like to find an uncircumcised guy, to see what that's like. But that may be hard to ask for...